Let’s Play Pretend

2015-08-18 16_42_15-StoreThe art of acting is really the ability to pretend in a very convincing way. The good actors assume the personality and features of the character they portray, which the audience finds very believable. I get that.

But this leads me to a critical observation of an activity prevalent in our society. It’s called playing the “air guitar”. Huh?

So someone is standing around, listening to music and pretends to play a completely invisible guitar? Again, huh? Oh, and they dance around while they’re “playing”. These people look hideous. They are not strumming anything because there’s nothing to strum. And to encourage these non-musicians, there are even air guitar contests. People are actually judged to be the best air guitar player around. Could you imagine someone, years later, showing their children that special trophy and bragging about their life changing achievement? “Look son, your dad is a complete loser”.  Do you see people playing air banjos, air violins, or air snare drums? Well, you probably do, but they’re crazy as well.

And don’t get me started about the air guitar cousin, the process of lip syncing. Yes, there are those who pay good money to see their entertainment idols simply mouth the words to their lyrics as the song and music is played to the audience.  Once again, huh? Who wants to watch a concert to see someone just moving their lips? That’s crazy. I can move my lips just fine and I’ll bet no one will be interested in paying money to watch.

So I have a few ideas to add to this pretending craze. And these should be instituted as contests too.

How about pretending to pick your nose? The winner is the one who comes closest without entering the actual non-pick zone. Imagine the prize winnings.  Or maybe we can pretend to intently listen to a very boring speaker (or spouse). Never mind, most of us already do this.

OK, let’s see who can best pretend to ride a bike or jump rope by standing still. Or how about pretending to be on a diet, drinking a no-cal drink along with a hot fudge sundae. Well, actually many of us actually do this too, so forget that.

Anyway, you see what I mean. My advice is just to leave the pretending to the professional actors. They do this way better than the rest of us. Either that, or do your air guitar playing or lip syncing in the comforts of your own home, with nobody watching. Maybe try the closet.

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