Natural Gas
Always looking to pave the way, inundating the world with fresh new ideas, I have the answer to our international energy problem. It’s simple really: harness the immense power of the human fart. Before you become so dismissive, think about it. There has to be a way to do something productive with all of that wasted gas.
You probably need some convincing, so pay attention. My guess is that you don’t have any personal experience with this, but have you ever heard of 
people lighting their farts? I’m told this occurrence is commonplace among mostly bored young men. This is just what I’ve been told, mind you.
Anyway, here’s my vision:
We go to gas stations (yes, the pun is intended) to make a deposit, so to speak. Think of it as a kind of bank. Your gas is somehow saved up, and you have the ability to “tap your own resources” when necessary.
Power your car, power your lawn mower, power your nose trimmer—the possibilities are endless. I’m sure there are some out there who can even power their entire house (you likely know who you are). Actually, I’m sure that my son the Webmaster can, which is another reason he’s so amazing. Utilizing this concept would be the gift that keeps on giving.
The results of generating energy this way would turn the world upside down. No more relying on those rogue nations that possess all that oil and gas located way underground. And therefore no need to worry about the earth imploding and being sucked into itself after these precious resources are all gone. This solution is therefore what we esteemed thinkers call a two-fer.
I, for one, worry about us destroying our planet, so I’m here to come up with ways to save it. Just another public service brought to you by your friends at Sure Dad. No extra charge for this service. It’s what we do.
Tagged as: Environment • Farts