Shhh….
We live in a world filled with lots and lots of noise. It seems like everywhere we go, we are subjected to all kinds of unwanted and distracting sounds. Especially loud ones. We have to live with ear-splitting music (and I use that term loosely) from the car behind us, not to mention the bone-rattling effect when the bass is cranked way up. People blab and blab on their cell phones for all of us to hear. You try to take a nice walk outside and someone’s TV is blasting out from their open (or even closed) windows. Some call this sharing. I call it an infringement on my right to peace and quiet, and a real pain in the ass or, more appropriately, pain in the ear.
With all that said, I find it amazing that there are a few rather unlikely places where silence is golden. You’d think those would be houses of worship, libraries, 
theaters and hospitals. Nope, you’re not even close.
The most sacred places where no talking is allowed are elevators, subway cars and men’s urinals. (Maybe women’s urinals too—well, probably not—although I have no experience in them.)
Shocking as it may be, there are no written rules or signs to explain the decorum required, but everybody knows them.
Take the elevator. You walk in, and if someone else is already there, or someone else joins you, the rules are very clear. Avoid eye contact at all costs; stare blankly at the floor, ceiling, or the pretty lighted numbers in front of you. Better yet, don’t even acknowledge that anyone is there, so by no means are you to make room for them. If someone has already pushed the button for your floor, it’s proper etiquette for you to press it again when you get on. If the elevator is not moving fast enough for you, it’s best to push the button frantically, like a lunatic. When you leave a crowded elevator, push your way out, and don’t even think about saying “excuse me,” as it violates those long-held regulations.
If you happen to find yourself on the subway, similar rules apply. Either fall asleep (missing your stop is always a plus), get glued to your text messages or be completely oblivious to your surroundings, with your ear buds jammed into your head. The only time you can utter a word is when a member of the great unwashed plops down next to you, spreading out so far, they’re actually sitting on your lap. And by all means, don’t offer your seat to some little old lady standing unsteadily in the aisle trying not to get stampeded. And God forbid, you smile at a cute child. That could land you in jail.
Now the rules at the urinal have been handed down from father to son for centuries. Eyes straight ahead, facing the wall, in utter and complete silence. Turning to chat with your neighbor while in the act, so to speak, is severely frowned upon. Not only will it probably give your urinal mate a wet surprise, but he will assume you’re checking out his package, which will result in a knockout punch to your glass jaw.
OK, let’s recap. You can post all of the rules you want (no smoking, no spitting, no swimming, no ball playing, no naked swimming while spitting, smoking and ball playing), but it’s the unwritten rules that are typically followed to the letter. Go figure.
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