Spanking
I’ve never been a big fan of spanking. My children however, may have a different perspective on that. They have such vivid imaginations, you know. Yes, an occasional paatch on the tuchas 
(Google it) was not what I would call spanking. That was simply done to either get their attention or better bring my point home, so to speak. It was more like an exclamation point. Now whaling away on bare bottoms was never my way, and it shouldn’t be anyone’s way. That’s not a punishment; that’s releasing a fit of rage.
Which brings me to a very important question. Why, oh why, on God’s green earth, do coaches and fellow players smack each other on the tush after a good play? This question doesn’t keep me up at night, but it baffles me. I wonder how that started, and who was the first to begin that rather odd practice. In the old days, they would simply shake each other’s hands after a home run or a touchdown. Then these celebratory bodily contacts evolved into high fives. That’s fine. Now we have ass pats and fist bumps. I get the fist bumps, but I sure don’t understand the fascination with each other’s butts. Hello, we’re talking about athletic events, and people tend to get real sweaty all over, especially in those most intimate of crevices. I, for one, want to stay very far away from that area of the body, especially some other guy’s.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not referring to private activities between consenting adults who happen to be gay friends and lovers. I don’t understand that either, but I’m fine with that too. It’s not for me, but to each his (or her) own. Thankfully, we live in a free country, so be my guest.
Well, I guess the answer is that in our free country, heterosexuals are free to pat their teammates on the behind to congratulate them. Maybe they’ll graduate to kissing each other on the cheek. Actually, in some cultures that’s exactly what they do, but it has nothing to do with sporting feats. At least I don’t think it does. Yet again, what the hell do I know?
Tagged as: Baseball • Children • Spanking